Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
