I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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