Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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