Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We're too hungover to prance.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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