I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
