My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
