she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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