ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
