Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
