I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
As shirtless as possible
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
