Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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