I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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