His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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