no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Boobs speak an international language.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
