Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
