i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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