yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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