dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
