When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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