he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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