i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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