I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
