You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
