So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
