I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
A bitchslap is in order.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
