yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
