You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
