Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
