did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
