dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
