I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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