It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
