Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
