Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize