Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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