remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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