My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
