No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
