what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
