At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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