do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
