All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
