How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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