is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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