That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
