She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
