Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My vagina is very pro this idea
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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