tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize