I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
