Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You're my little dorito
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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