I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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