I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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