I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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