YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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