So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
