I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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