she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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