You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
