I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
